Gamzee: GeT ChIpS
by mrtahphayt
Summary: Gamzee has to go get chips for Vriska. Wait, who is this TH character? (FIRST STORY)(MILD LANGUAGE)
1. Your name is GAMZEE MAKARA

Your name is Gamzee Makara.

You have a passion for many things, but you'd know that already if you'd bothered to read HOMESTUCK. Right now your biggest concern is that you are stuck in this PORTABLE FRIDGE OF THE MOST UNESCAPABLE VARIETY. While you understand completely why your friends have locked you up, you cannot deny that you are MASSIVELY LONELY, and by extention, MASSIVELY BORED. Perhaps asking nicely will provide results:

OPEN DIALOGLOG

TC: HeY VrIsKa i'M BoReD CaN YoU GiVe mE SoMeThInG To dO?

AG: No.

TC: Ok.

END DIALOGLOG

Well that didn't work at all. You are quite certain you'll probably rot away before they let you out. If only they gave you SOMETHING to do...

OPEN DIALOGLOG

AG: Actually Gamzee...

AG: Do you want to run an errand for me?

You perk up. Things are finally getting interesting!

TC: SuRe v-DaWg wHaT Is iT?

AG: First of all call me "V-Dawg" again and I'll 8reak your spine.

TC: SoRrY.

AG: Second: Here's what I need you to do.

AG: Go to the store and 8uy me chips.

TC: WhAt

AG: You heard me. Go to the store and 8uy me some chips. I'm hungry.

TC: BuT IsN't tHiS LiKe sOmE MaGiCaL ReAlM?

TC: WhErE WoUlD I FiNd a sUpErMaRkEt?

AG: Siiiiiiiigh

AG: Details, Gamzee. Details.

AG: I wasn't finished yet.

AG: Get me my chips and I'll let you 8uy yourself a Faygo or two.

AG: Get it done quickly and I'll let you 8orrow my Laptop for a while.

AG: Think you can do it clown 8oy?

This is perfect! At last you'll be free, you'll be able to communicate, and reunite with your faygo!

TC: DeAl.

AG: Alright. Here's twenty 8oondollars. Good luck!

AG: Oh and one more thing

AG: Step out of line and you're dead.


	2. Karkat: Call Gamzee

Your name is Gamzee Makara, and you are on a journey.

It will be a dangerous journey, but you are cool with that, for it is a journey OF THE MOST RIGHTEOUS VARIETY. FOR CHIPS ARE ONE OF THE FINEST DELICACIES IN THE MULTIVERSE, SECOND ONLY TO YOUR BELOVED FAYGO. You have not brought much in terms of gear. Your inventory contains:

4 EMPTY FAYGO BOTTLES

20 BOONDOLLARS

A HORN

YOUR PPC (PORTABLE PLOT CONVINIENCE) MOBILE PHONE

And your ALMIGHTY COD-TIER OUTFIT, FOLDED NEATLY INTO A CUTE LITTLE SQUARE

Your only problem is you have no idea where the hell this supermarket is. Then again, you can't tell where the hell anything is, since you're so incredibly stoned all the time. Once you couldn't remember where your house was. While you were in your own house.

Nonetheless, you press on, relying on your AWESOME JUGGALO INSTINCTS to find this supermarket. You are almost ready to get started when you feel your pocket begin to vibrate. You pull out you PPC and answer the call

OPEN DIALUPLOG

Sys: CG has begun dialling TC

TC: To wHoM Am i sPeAkInG On tHiS FiNe oCcAsIoN? ':o)

CG: WHO

CG: THE ALMIGHTY HELL

CG: LET YOU

CG: OUT

CG: OF THAT

CG: FRIDGE?

Oh goodie, it's Karkat, your no. 1 homie! You love it when he gets cranky like this.

TC: MaN, HoW LoNg hAs iT BeEn?

TC: HaVeN't tAlKeD WiTh yOu iN LiKe,

TC: AgEs mAn

CG: GOD FU-

TC: sSsSsSsSsSsSsHhHhHhHhHh iT's oK... |oT

TC: VrIsKa sEnT Me oN A MiSsIoN To gO BuY SoMe cHiPs

CG: VRISKA?

TC: YeAh mAn, vRisKa

CG: ...

TC: I GoTtA Go mAn, tHiS StOrE AiN't gOnNa fInD ItSeLf

CG: WAIT DON'T-

Sys: TC has ceased dialling CG

CG: DAMMIT GAMZEE

CG: OK, OK, CALM DOWN KARKAT, IT'S OK

CG: WHAT HARM CAN HE DO?

CG: NO, I MEAN REALLY, I DON'T KNOW WHEN THIS THING TAKES PLACE

CG: IS THIS LIKE, ACT 6 ACT 5?

CG: I DON'T F-ING KNOW

Sys: TH has begun dialling CG

TH: Personally I don't know either

CG: WAIT

CG: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

TH: I'd tell you but for the sake of dramatic ambiguity I have to remain anonymous for a few more chapers

TH: Rest assured however, I am very relevant to the story

CG: JUST GET TO THE POINT NERD WHAT DO YOU WANT?

CG: I'M GETTING AWFUL ACT 4-1 FLASHBACKS ALREADY

CG: STOP PADDING THE STORY WITH CHAT TRANSCRIPTS AND GET TO THE ACTION

TH: Fine fine I'll stop

TH: The next chapter should be finished already in fact

CG: FANTASTIC.

CG: THE SOONER THIS STORY ENDS, THE SOONER I CAN CAN GET BACK TO DOING WHATEVER IT IS I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING

Sys: CG has terminated the conversation

CLOSE DIALUP LOG


	3. THE END

Gamzee got the chips for Vriska and she let him use her laptop and Gamzee reunited with his Faygo

THE END

Thanks so much for following my story. Favorite and review and I might do another story sometime!

~MrTahpHayt


	4. Karkat: Call TH

!WARNING!

The following chapter does contain some Karkat x TH lemon. Read at your own risk! Thanks.

!WARNING!

OPEN DIALUPLOG

Sys: CG has begun dialling TH

CG: HEY FUCKASS

CG: WHAT KIND OF ENDING WAS THAT?

TH: Don't get mad at me

TH: That chapter had everything you wanted

TH: no dialog, action, and the story was wrapped up! You're done here

CG: THAT ENDING WAS SHIT THOUGH

CG: AT LEAST MAKE IT SATISFYING FOR THE READERS

TH: I'll admit the author could've handled that ending better

TH: by the by do you want some lemons?

CG: WHAT

TH: Lemons. Earth food. Want some?

CG: LET ME THINK...

CG: NO.

TH: Very well then

TH: So you say that ending was unsatisfying

TH: What would you have done to make it better?

CG: WELL, FIRST OFF

CG: GAMZEE SHOULD AT LEAST MAKE IT TO THE SUPERMARKET

CG: BUT BEFORE HE CAN DO THAT, HE SHOULD FIGHT A MONSTER OR SOMETHING

CG: AT LEAST

TH: Oh, pardon me

TH: It appears something important has come up

TH: I'll have to cut this session short

CG: FINE BY ME

Sys: TH ceased dialling CG

CLOSE DIALUPLOG


	5. Gamzee: Fight imp

Your name is Gamzee Makara, and your efforts to reach the supermarket have been cut short.

Before you stands a collosal imp, prototyped witih all sorts of deadly items. He is the only thing standing between you and the supermarket, your destination. Fortunately, you are prepared, you reach into your pocket and pull out your

MIGHTY JUGGALO CLUB

except you don't, because if you remember back in chapter 2, that was not on his list of things in his inventory. You will have to allocate one of your other items into your strife specibus. The Boondollars are a no-go; you won't be able to purchase the chips otherwise. You have already haphazardly put on your COD-TIER OUTFIT, so that's out as well. You're indifferent about your PPC, but it's not your's, it's Vriska's, and you're pretty sure she'll kill you if you damage it. That leaves you with only two options: the four empty Faygo bottles or your 1 horn. This will be a difficult decision...

BUT WAIT the author doesn't care and makes you choose the horn anyway. This author guy sure is all-powerful! You're pretty sure Karkat called people like that "MARY-SUES." You allocate your horn to your strife specibus, thus assigning your weaponry to HORNKIND. You squat, rear up, and throw the horn at the imp's face.

The face it's making looks really fucking pissed.

Suddenly a large bronze object lands on the ground next to you. It is THE MYSTICAL HORN OF MYSTERIA, THE MOST POWEFUL OF THEM ALL. With one mighty blast you send the giant imp flying into the sky, probably never to be seen again unless the plot calls for it. With pride in your tipsy step, the waddle into the supermarket to complete your task.

WILL GAMZEE BUY THE CHIPS, OR WILL SOMETHING ELSE HAPPEN? WHERE DID THAT HORN COME FROM? WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS TH? FIND OUT WHEN THE PROPER CHAPTER FOR EACH COMES OUT!


	6. TH: Call Jade

OPEN DIALUPLOG

Sys: TH has begun dialling GG

TH: So

TH: What do you think of the new chapter?

GG: What do you mean? ':(

TH: Oh

TH: Oh shit

TH: I dialed the wrong person

TH: I'm sorry I'll hang up

GG: NO! Now I'm curious!

GG: What are you talking about?

TH: Well if you insist

TH: it's this fanfiction me and CG have been reading

TH: s/12161464/1/Gamzee-GeT-ChIpS

GG: Ohhhhhhh that looks interesting!

TH: I know right

TH: I'm just curious as to where the story will go next

GG: Well.

GG: Maybe.

GG: Gamzee will get lost in the supermarket!

TH: Oh?

GG: Yeah.

GG: Maybe it's so big that he can't find the chips at all!

TH: That... Does sound interesting

TH: I'm really sorry that i'm still talking

TH: I think the author is just trying to pad out this conversation so he can justify calling it a "Chapter"

GG: I know!

GG: I'll invite someone else to the call!

TH: Lovely

Sys: AT has begun dialling TH and GG

AT: uHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,,,,,,,,,

TH: Remind me again which character is this?

GG: Tavros, I think.

GG: I kinida just dialled a random number

AT: sO UUUHHHHHHHHHHHH,,,,,,,,

AT: wHY DID YOU CALL ME EXACTLY?

AT: hOW DID YOU CALL ME EXACTLY?

AT: pRETTY SURE I WAS,,,,, ER,,,,,, AM DEAD IF GAMZEE WAS IN THE FRIDGE BY NOW

TH: None of us really know

TH: I don't think even the author knows

AT: bUT WAIT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

AT: aREN'T YOU THE AUTHOR, TH?

TH: what

AT: kARKAT TOLD ME ABOUT THAT, UH, FANFIC YOU'VE BEEN READIN,,,,,,,,,,,,,

AT: bASED ON WHAT HE'S TOLD ME, IT REALLY DOES SOUND LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY THE ONE WRITING IT,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Sys: TH has ceased dialling GG and AT

GG: Hhhmmmm

GG: I sense a scandal.

AT: bUT,,,,,,,,,,,,

AT: iS IT REALLY?

AT: sO WHAT IF HE IS THE AUTHOR, IT'S NOT A BAD THING

AT: pERSONALLY I FEEL HONORED TO EVEN BE INCLUDED IN HIS STORY

GG: I guess you're right.

GG: Well gtg I guess.

Sys: GG has ceased dialling AT

AT: wAIT

AT: hOW DO I HANG UP AGAIN?,,,,,,,,,,

CLOSE DIALUPLOG


End file.
